Be Your Own Hero
Hey Everyone!
My lovely travel buddy, Rachel and I
"The Twins" and us!
One of the best smoothies I've EVER had!<3
We did some baking and quite a bit of cooking while we were there! Here is the Rum Cake ingredients!
Gluten Free Peanut Butter Cookies that were DELISH!!
The guys gave us, each, a stocking, since we went the day after Christmas! I'm not a huge fan of Peeps in general, but I adored these!
However, since this amazing trip I've been dealing with a lot of depression, intense mood swings and just overall not been happy, to say the least! It started about a month ago and I'm grateful to say, that over this past week, the cloud has been slowly lifting! I'm blessed indeed and despite the stuff from my past that I've been dealing with breaking free from, lately, I know God is good and He has GOT THIS! I'm not saying that I won't be depressed in the future, or that I'm fully "over it all," but I'm relearning that today is day one of the rest of my life and that it, ultimately, doesn't matter what others think of me because, God and I are the only ones who have to put up with me for life!
Do NOT get me wrong, here, because I'm not saying that what others think of you and how you make others feel, is completely irrelevant and doesn't matter, because it does. However, it shouldn't define you and it most certainly shouldn't determine your happiness! You will always have people who don't like you or who try to change you because of their own insecurities and that is okay, it's normal and it's a part of life. You need to able to be okay with who you are when no one else is around and be confident in who you are deep down, because that is what matters and will make your life so much easier.
In the past month I've cried myself to sleep a lot, cried sitting in my car, nearly cried at work several times and begged Jesus to take this hurt away from me more times than I can count! In the end, though, I needed to recognize my problems and face them because that's the only way I'd get through it stronger and be able to become more of the woman He wants me to be.
Without God, my job that I'm passionate about it, and my best friend, who I've sadly used as a punching bag far too many times lately, I wouldn't have come through this as strong as I have...I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and have had my joy and peace back and it's AWESOME! God is so freakin' AMAZING guys! I mean, He has done so many "little" things this past month to remind me that He cares, that He's there, that I'm special and that I'm His! He cleared off my car for me when we had our "huge" blizzard, He had someone shovel my walk way a couple times, He allowed Lecrae (my favoirte artist) to come and tour in New England and for him not to sell out before I could get tickets, my car to not need as much work as I thought and for me to not have to pay for something they fixed, my big brother got married, I found gluten free "Cheeze-Its," I might have a roommate for the next few months which would allow me to save almost the exact amount I'd need to get my wisdom teeth out, my best friend worked one day he "wasn't supposed to" on a day I REALLY needed him, etc etc. Some of this list may seem silly and small to a lot of you, but to me it was as if Jevoah was saying, "Hello, you are mine and I love you. You are not a lone in this and I haven't forgotten you, by a long shot!"
God is truly my hero, but at the same time, I need to be willing to help myself and to notice where I need to change and be willing to surrender it all to Him in order for Him to help me. So no matter where you are in life, whether you are in the valley, climbing up the mountain, or enjoying the view from the top, know that you have an anchor and a friend in Jesus! He is ALWAYS there! He is always willing to help you turn your doubts, fears, mistakes etc into your past and not hold your present and future in chains! He made you and I and knows us better than we know ourselves. That is hard to fathom sometimes even though my best friend knows me better than I know myself, but it's the truth, and He loves us anyway!
There will never be a better you so don't let others drag down your sunshine and put rain in it's place. You should be your own Woman Crush Wendesday or Man Crush Monday! haha! Don't let the bad things make your whole day bad because then you'll be missing out on the all the good God is trying to send your way. I'm still not out of "my dark place" fully, but I'm getting there, and I'm going to trust He has a plan.
I hope this post finds you well, and if not, that I was able to encourage you in some small way.
Until Next Time!
<3Abi
Do NOT get me wrong, here, because I'm not saying that what others think of you and how you make others feel, is completely irrelevant and doesn't matter, because it does. However, it shouldn't define you and it most certainly shouldn't determine your happiness! You will always have people who don't like you or who try to change you because of their own insecurities and that is okay, it's normal and it's a part of life. You need to able to be okay with who you are when no one else is around and be confident in who you are deep down, because that is what matters and will make your life so much easier.
In the past month I've cried myself to sleep a lot, cried sitting in my car, nearly cried at work several times and begged Jesus to take this hurt away from me more times than I can count! In the end, though, I needed to recognize my problems and face them because that's the only way I'd get through it stronger and be able to become more of the woman He wants me to be.
Without God, my job that I'm passionate about it, and my best friend, who I've sadly used as a punching bag far too many times lately, I wouldn't have come through this as strong as I have...I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and have had my joy and peace back and it's AWESOME! God is so freakin' AMAZING guys! I mean, He has done so many "little" things this past month to remind me that He cares, that He's there, that I'm special and that I'm His! He cleared off my car for me when we had our "huge" blizzard, He had someone shovel my walk way a couple times, He allowed Lecrae (my favoirte artist) to come and tour in New England and for him not to sell out before I could get tickets, my car to not need as much work as I thought and for me to not have to pay for something they fixed, my big brother got married, I found gluten free "Cheeze-Its," I might have a roommate for the next few months which would allow me to save almost the exact amount I'd need to get my wisdom teeth out, my best friend worked one day he "wasn't supposed to" on a day I REALLY needed him, etc etc. Some of this list may seem silly and small to a lot of you, but to me it was as if Jevoah was saying, "Hello, you are mine and I love you. You are not a lone in this and I haven't forgotten you, by a long shot!"
God is truly my hero, but at the same time, I need to be willing to help myself and to notice where I need to change and be willing to surrender it all to Him in order for Him to help me. So no matter where you are in life, whether you are in the valley, climbing up the mountain, or enjoying the view from the top, know that you have an anchor and a friend in Jesus! He is ALWAYS there! He is always willing to help you turn your doubts, fears, mistakes etc into your past and not hold your present and future in chains! He made you and I and knows us better than we know ourselves. That is hard to fathom sometimes even though my best friend knows me better than I know myself, but it's the truth, and He loves us anyway!
There will never be a better you so don't let others drag down your sunshine and put rain in it's place. You should be your own Woman Crush Wendesday or Man Crush Monday! haha! Don't let the bad things make your whole day bad because then you'll be missing out on the all the good God is trying to send your way. I'm still not out of "my dark place" fully, but I'm getting there, and I'm going to trust He has a plan.
I hope this post finds you well, and if not, that I was able to encourage you in some small way.
Until Next Time!
<3Abi
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