It's Been Far Too Long
Hey All,
So almost two years later and I'm finally coming back on here. I've felt like I should for the last month with everything going on in my life to help me sort through my emotions, but I have yet to actually do so, so here I am....finally getting around to it.
In short, since I last posted, I've been working at a credit union call center which is VERY different from running around as a host/server, etc and food service representative, though it is steady hours and paycheck so I give it that....plus I've learned a lot and my bosses and coworkers are amazing. I've been living in one place with my friend and her toddler which is fun since no moving and who doesn't like kids and friends! :)...to top it off, her mom, step-dad, and sister live next door, and her brother and wife live near by so it's like we live back in time where everyone lived right next to each other. haha!
Over the two years, I've dated a few guys, that haven't worked out, unfortunately....however, as of the end of this February I started talking to a wonderful man who calls every day (sometimes multiple times), who texts often, who never hangs up without telling me he loves me etc, and who I officially started dating this May. Currently we're dating long distance as he's taking some classes til May of next year, but then he plans to move up here. So ladies....and gentleman...if you're wondering why all the guys/women aren't working out, keeping waiting/praying, God's got someone better, trust me. ;)
Obviously, I've missed camp terribly and it's been a huge struggle somedays wondering why God allowed me to be so passionate about something and not be able to use my gift/drive for that, but let me tell you He had/always has a plan guys! Last August I got pretty sick....was constantly dizzy and had a lot of migraines and wasn't able to work full time. If I had been at camp and Patricks during all this I wouldn't have been able to live off what I had saved/would be making part time...nor would I probably be able to work a physical job so dizzy I was almost constantly throwing up. After months of therapy and some meds, I was able to go back to work full time, but I still had day or so a month I had to call out due to the dizziness....then, come this August....a little later in the month, but still....I started getting worse again and have been not working at all since the end of that month. Been going to many specialists and am on the waiting list of more and still no answers. I've been very discouraged and some days all I want to do is curl up and cry....cried myself to sleep a few times too many. However, one thing I know is that, AGAIN, as much as I know my time in camp ministry isn't over and as much as I miss it so much it hurts, I know that if I hadn't left I wouldn't have been able to afford the new car I needed, wouldn't be able to afford food, gas, and rent.....God knew all of this would go down. He is my provider and even though leaving was hard He knew it would provide for me and that I would grow the most from it and for that I am grateful.
All that being said, health wise I'm still in the dark and am supposed to go back to work this month, and don't know how I will since I still don't feel well, especially when I drive and am worse as the day goes on. So if anyone reads this could pray for that and my anxiety about all that, I'd appreciate it. I know He is in control and I do trust Him, but right now in the unknown sometimes it's hard.....especially months in when I do simple things and it just makes me worse and I just want a fix or at least be able to put a name to what I have so if I can't do three errands in a day or can't go to work one day I can blame my [blankblank] condition instead of right now it just being "all in my head." All this to say I'm not perfect. I trust Jehovah with my salvation and with my life, but I still have emotions like the rest of you and I'm okay with that.
Anyways, after two years I feel like there is a lot more I could say, but writing this is slightly making me feel worse, sadly....this better not last because writing is normally my "thing"...yeah yeah I know I haven't done it in forever, how could it be my thing, but when I get in a groove it is, okay?
Until Next Time!
<3Abigail
So almost two years later and I'm finally coming back on here. I've felt like I should for the last month with everything going on in my life to help me sort through my emotions, but I have yet to actually do so, so here I am....finally getting around to it.
In short, since I last posted, I've been working at a credit union call center which is VERY different from running around as a host/server, etc and food service representative, though it is steady hours and paycheck so I give it that....plus I've learned a lot and my bosses and coworkers are amazing. I've been living in one place with my friend and her toddler which is fun since no moving and who doesn't like kids and friends! :)...to top it off, her mom, step-dad, and sister live next door, and her brother and wife live near by so it's like we live back in time where everyone lived right next to each other. haha!
Over the two years, I've dated a few guys, that haven't worked out, unfortunately....however, as of the end of this February I started talking to a wonderful man who calls every day (sometimes multiple times), who texts often, who never hangs up without telling me he loves me etc, and who I officially started dating this May. Currently we're dating long distance as he's taking some classes til May of next year, but then he plans to move up here. So ladies....and gentleman...if you're wondering why all the guys/women aren't working out, keeping waiting/praying, God's got someone better, trust me. ;)
Obviously, I've missed camp terribly and it's been a huge struggle somedays wondering why God allowed me to be so passionate about something and not be able to use my gift/drive for that, but let me tell you He had/always has a plan guys! Last August I got pretty sick....was constantly dizzy and had a lot of migraines and wasn't able to work full time. If I had been at camp and Patricks during all this I wouldn't have been able to live off what I had saved/would be making part time...nor would I probably be able to work a physical job so dizzy I was almost constantly throwing up. After months of therapy and some meds, I was able to go back to work full time, but I still had day or so a month I had to call out due to the dizziness....then, come this August....a little later in the month, but still....I started getting worse again and have been not working at all since the end of that month. Been going to many specialists and am on the waiting list of more and still no answers. I've been very discouraged and some days all I want to do is curl up and cry....cried myself to sleep a few times too many. However, one thing I know is that, AGAIN, as much as I know my time in camp ministry isn't over and as much as I miss it so much it hurts, I know that if I hadn't left I wouldn't have been able to afford the new car I needed, wouldn't be able to afford food, gas, and rent.....God knew all of this would go down. He is my provider and even though leaving was hard He knew it would provide for me and that I would grow the most from it and for that I am grateful.
All that being said, health wise I'm still in the dark and am supposed to go back to work this month, and don't know how I will since I still don't feel well, especially when I drive and am worse as the day goes on. So if anyone reads this could pray for that and my anxiety about all that, I'd appreciate it. I know He is in control and I do trust Him, but right now in the unknown sometimes it's hard.....especially months in when I do simple things and it just makes me worse and I just want a fix or at least be able to put a name to what I have so if I can't do three errands in a day or can't go to work one day I can blame my [blankblank] condition instead of right now it just being "all in my head." All this to say I'm not perfect. I trust Jehovah with my salvation and with my life, but I still have emotions like the rest of you and I'm okay with that.
Anyways, after two years I feel like there is a lot more I could say, but writing this is slightly making me feel worse, sadly....this better not last because writing is normally my "thing"...yeah yeah I know I haven't done it in forever, how could it be my thing, but when I get in a groove it is, okay?
Until Next Time!
<3Abigail
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