Waiting For Tomorrow

Hello All, So since I last wrote I'm feeling slightly more me...though I know I have a long way to go before I have my roar back (see past last post to understand what I am referring to). I think the biggest change in such a short time is the fact that I realized that I'm losing myself, because the first step to fixing a problem is realizing there is one. God and I are working on this masterpiece and all though I'm not perfect, I will someday become an even better version of who I was before this last year and half I just know it.  In the last few days I've spoken with some people about how I've been feeling and I think getting it out and being accountable is helpful. I have, also, cried a decent amount which I hate, but it was a good release. Another big thing is I've come up with a schedule for my morning that includes me and Jesus time. Through the last months of being home and not working, I've slowly stopped having a schedule for that as sometimes I...

Hello All, As I believe I previously mentioned since last August of 2017 I've been  constantly dizzy and not myself. I worked part time from sometime that month til Thanksgiving week of that year when I felt pretty much 100%...though on and off I had to take a day or two off due to dizzy spells. Come this August I've been out of work completely because I've been dealing with the same thing and no answers as to why....as you can imagine this has taken a toll on me. I'm mentally, physically, and emotionally beyond drained. I've been fighting a panic attack all day pretty much and I just want to sleep, and wake up and have this all be a horrid nightmare. The thing that kills me the most is that the people that have met me in the last year and half or so don't even know the "real" me. Sure they know parts of me, but they know broken me.....they know the me that cries in doctors offices, can't remember anything, has a short fuse, is introverted, goes to...

Hello There! Two days in a row, look at me, that's more than I've done in quite a long time! Just popping on here to say that although I'm sure tomorrow I may feel really crappy and find it a little hard...or maybe even tonight...right now I'm feeling pretty positive so I want to get this out. Maybe it'll help someone who reads it, or maybe it'll help me later when I'm feeling a little more under the weather than I am right now, regardless, here it goes. So today I woke up with a horrible migraine...still have a decent headache/borderline migraine....and feeling pretty dizzy, but my sister-in-law messaged me and ended up taking me over to her place to see my niece and visit which was awesome. Then I got home, went out and got a few errands done...which made me feel worse, but I'm very grateful I was able to get that done. Then came home to eat and am now able to rest and listen to Kane Brown's new album Experiment on repeat which I've been waiti...

Hey All, So almost two years later and I'm finally coming back on here. I've felt like I should for the last month with everything going on in my life to help me sort through my emotions, but I have yet to actually do so, so here I am....finally getting around to it. In short, since I last posted, I've been working at a credit union call center which is VERY different from running around as a host/server, etc and food service representative, though it is steady hours and paycheck so I give it that....plus I've learned a lot and my bosses and coworkers are amazing. I've been living in one place with my friend and her toddler which is fun since no moving and who doesn't like kids and friends! :)...to top it off, her mom, step-dad, and sister live next door, and her brother and wife live near by so it's like we live back in time where everyone lived right next to each other. haha! Over the two years, I've dated a few guys, that haven't worked out, unf...